If well-known American generals have been on Tinder

Troopers, sailors, Marines and airmen around the globe are on the lookout for love — often in all of the mistaken locations. What would possibly it have been like if a few of the biggest navy minds in American historical past occurred to be on relationship apps?

Would you swipe proper on America’s all-time favourite generals?

Title: James Mattis

Age: 71

About Me: Name me Jim. I’m a straight-shooter who won’t ever sugarcoat issues for you as a result of I wish to preserve it actual. I’ll at all times put my profession first, it doesn’t matter what. Searching for an mental who reads as a lot as I do

Likes: CHAOS, studying 30+ books a yr, knife palms, the Marine Corps, conserving you awake at evening 😉

Dislikes: Mad canines, silly individuals, PowerPoint


Title: George Patton

Age: 60

About Me: World-traveling soldier with a passport filled with stamps. Undoubtedly think about myself an alpha. Informal Olympian (pentathlon). I swear so much… swipe left you probably have delicate sensibilities

Likes: Whiskey, horseback driving, pistols with ivory handles

Dislikes: Being advised what to do


Title: William Tecumseh Sherman

Age: 71

About Me: Ohioan, initially. Failed banker-turned dutiful soldier. Lover of the humanities and Shakespeare. Have eight (sure, eight!) children who’re my world. Huge-time fan of theater. Let’s get dinner and see a play someday!

Likes: Theater and going to exhibits

Dislikes: Conflict… it’s hell. Additionally hate the tune “Marching By means of Georgia


Title: Lewis Burwell “Chesty” Puller

Age: 73

About Me: Aggressive, pushed. Searching for somebody formidable and severe however who additionally is aware of methods to chill out and smoke pipe every so often. 4x wars as a Marine. First spherical is on me should you can guess the place I obtained my nickname (however provided that you’re ingesting whiskey)

Likes: Civil Conflict historical past, brutal honesty

Dislikes: Ice cream, that sh*t is for pansies.


Title: Dwight D. Eisenhower

Age: 78

About Me: I’m going by Ike. Favourite film is “Angels within the Outfield.” You’ll know I such as you if I cook dinner for you. And I make a imply vegetable soup. God first: Psalm 127:1 and a pair of Chronicles 7:14

Likes: Oil portray, baseball, golf, the navy industrial complicated

Dislikes: Squirrels. They destroy golf programs.


Title: Douglas McArthur

Age: 84

About Me: Philippines > Japan > Korea > SF > NYC. Introvert. West Level baseball. Threw up on the steps of the White Home one time (no, I wasn’t drunk). Simply on the lookout for somebody to get pleasure from quiet time with as I laze round on the porch in my favourite purple rocking chair

Likes: Corncob pipes, aviator sun shades, nuclear proliferation

Dislikes: Small speak

**This can be a satirical article, which has no bearing on the marital standing of these generals listed inside it.

Statement Submit is the Army Occasions one-stop store for all issues off-duty. Tales might replicate writer observations.

Sarah Sicard is a Senior Editor with Army Occasions. She beforehand served because the Digital Editor of Army Occasions and the Army Occasions Editor. Different work could be discovered at Nationwide Protection Journal, Activity & Goal, and Protection News.

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